From the really weird but true file, comes the tale of my father and his recent shoe shopping adventure. My Dad wears a size 14EEEE, so shoe purchases for him are not an everyday affair.
Last week, he went to an up-island store, one that shall remain unnamed, that carries his size. He walked in at around 5 p.m., tried on some shoes, found two pairs he liked, and went to the counter to pay. The sales clerk was nowhere to be seen, so he assumed she was in the ladies room.
After waiting five minutes, he began to wonder if she was okay, so he knocked on the ladies room door and got no answer. He then thought that perhaps she had fallen down in the stockroom so he poked his head in and found no one.
Walking back out to the store floor he noticed that he was the only person in the establishment. Slightly annoyed, he decided to leave the store without his shoes and made his way to the front door, only to find that it was locked, and he, in fact, was locked in the store.
The dim-witted sales clerk apparently had forgotten he was in the store, decided to leave early, (the sign on the door states they are open until 6 p.m.), locked up and went home for the night, leaving my father captive.
Long story short, after trying for several minutes to get the attention of someone outside to no avail, he toyed with the idea of breaking a store window with a clothing rack and climbing out. But rational man that he is, he finally left via the emergency exit door in the back of the store, which of course set off screeching burglar alarms, got in his car, and drove home.
He may have left the store without his shoes but he did leave behind some very lovely and well-deserved hand gestures which were recorded on the store’s wall-mounted video cameras. Someone is going to be getting a really nasty letter.
A Mother’s Day plant and bake sale will be held on Saturday, May 10, from 9 a.m. to noon, at the United Methodist Church on Main Street. Proceeds will benefit the church’s school ministries.
The Southampton Historical Museum will host a “White House Tag Sale” on Saturday, May 10, from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Admission to the Saturday sale is free. An early bird preview and sale to benefit the museum will be held on Friday, May 9, from 4 to 7 p.m. Admission to the preview is $20 per person and wine will be served.
More than 170 years of accumulated treasures including antique furniture, ceramics, textiles and tools will be available. For more information, call 283-2494.
The Southampton Rose Society will teach children between the ages of 5 and 10 how to plant and care for mini-roses on Saturday, May 24, at 10:30 a.m., at the SRS Rose Garden at the Rogers Memorial Library.
Well-known rosarian Peter Bertrand will demonstrate proper planting and care of mini-roses in the hands-on session, and each child will take home a mini-rose bush and a cleverly illustrated how-to manual, “The Mini-Rose and How It Grows,” everything he or she would need to start a successful garden.
The event is sponsored by Dermot Dolan State Farm Agency and admission is free to children and parents or care-givers accompanying them. For further information, contact Joanne McEvoy-Samborn at firstname.lastname@example.org or by phone at 283-9648. More information about the Southampton Rose Society can be found at www.southampton-rose-society.org.
The Group for the East End will host its 13th annual Fauna-Thon Fund-raiser on Sunday, May, 18. The event lasts all day and into the night. Group staffers and friends will wander far and wide, searching for mammals, birds, reptiles, amphibians, butterflies and dragonflies. Can they beat the record of 266 species? Not without your help! Make plans to join one of the teams, make your own team or pledge a donation. For more information, contact Steve Biasetti at 537-1400 extension 15 or e-mail email@example.com.
Former Southampton Press summer intern Fiona McFarland is a senior at the Naval Academy. Fiona grew up in Southampton and New York City, and after September 11, felt a strong pull to serve the country. She turned down offers from Ivy League colleges to attend the Naval Academy and was appointed by Congressman Tim Bishop as the representative of New York’s 1st Congressional District.
Fiona has thrived at the Naval Academy where she is at the top of her class academically, has held several of the most senior leadership positions in the Brigade of Midshipmen and is Captain of Women’s Crew. She was named an All-Patriot League Rowing Team member for 2006 and 2007 and has been nominated for the Naval Academy’s award for top woman athlete of 2008. She has rowed stroke on the Varsity Crew boat for four years, and has broken just about every record in the history of Navy Women’s Crew.
Fiona has service selected to be a Surface Warfare Officer. After graduation and commissioning on May 23, she will head to San Diego as a junior officer aboard the USS Preble. Congratulations Fiona!
Hannah Stein, a fifth-grader at Southampton Intermediate School, competed at the United States Association of Independent Gymnastics Club meet in Commack on April 27. Hannah is a member of the team from Riverside Gymnastics in Riverhead coached by Bonnie Tellez. She placed second in the all-around with a score of 35.25; first in the floor routine with a score of 9.45; third in beam scoring 9.25; fifth in bars with a score of 8.45; and fifth in vault with a score of 8.1.
Hannah has qualified for the New York State USAIGC meet on this coming weekend. The States meet will be held at a gym on Long Island. More information can be found at www.usaigc.com.
Also competing with Hannah were Meiko Vail from Riverhead and Haley Pisciotta from Westhampton. Meiko and Haley also qualified for States, as did Marissa Evans, also from Riverhead.
At the Library
Tina DeVaron, a singer/songwriter and regular jazz pianist at the Carlyle Hotel in New York City, will perform at the library tonight, Thursday, May 8, at 7 p.m. Titled “A Musical Tribute to Motherhood,” the program will include Ms. DeVaron’s original songs about the pinnacles, perils and pratfalls of motherhood, daughterhood and grown-up love. There is no charge for the program, but voluntary donations will be collected at the door. Reservations are required.
Photographer Bill Rudock, owner of First Light Photography, will offer “The Top Ten Techniques for Better Photos” on Monday, May 12, at 7 p.m. Topics to be addressed include exposure control, shutter speeds, aperture, composition and subject matter. Reservations are suggested.
Book-lovers are invited to a “Brown Bag Lunch and Book Group Title Swap” with Jane Cochran, the manager of BookHampton, on Wednesday, May 14, at noon. Lemonade and cookies will be served and reservations are required.
For information and reservations on the above programs call 283-0774, extension 523.